How I became a sissy gay crossdresser - part 1

Since I remembered myself as a confused teenager I wanted to date the most beautiful and sexy girls and I was also intimidated and aroused by very masculine and strong boys... I was afraid of them but felt some kind of unexplained curiosity. Being the son of an emotionally distant and very little communicative father who didn't know how to sexually satisfy his wife, my mom. My mother was very young when she met my dad at college who was 12 yrs. her senior, with no experience nor skills at love and sex related issues. Over the years, she gained some self confidence and got a serious makeover, she got a nose job, a boob job, a liposuction to eliminate some fat. She had a little compact body and nice round ass, grew her hair long, since she was short, only 5'2", she used to wear 5 inch high heels to look taller. Then men started paying attention to her, it was a new thing for her. She wasn't used to get male attention and it felt so right. Soon she started wearing short skirts, tight leather pants and dresses, thigh high boots, high heel shoes, stockings and see trough tops, it was time to be sexy and desirable in the eyes of so many available men. She was so in need of affection and attention that she easily gave herself to anyone willing to provide them. I couldn't blame her, my dad was an asshole and she was a little wild woman, horny and hungry of passion and brain blowing sex. So my dad, who didn't pay attention to anything and anyone, wasn't aware at all of my mom's sex adventures and lovers...he became a big cuckold....I always loved my mom and even then, I sympathized these "macho" guys, who made her happy, at least temporary. I thought she was in her right to felt loved and enjoyed her sexuality with any guy willing to fuck her, I even remembered there was a time, she fucked a big black guy and she was really in love with him but since she came from a very conservative background and was worried about what my grandparents would say about it, she broke up with him and was devastated... I spoke with her many years later and she confessed that she always wanted to have sex with a black guy but was very insecure about it....after him, she occasionally had sex with black guys, always very discrete.